211212

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!



Today, being the last day of class for 2012, and being a 19 year old ever to step into class again, is a bit nostalgic for me.=(
Okay, actually as I type this, the class is already over.And it's 10pm here, I'm sitting in front of my laptop.
Today's devotion from Crosswalk Singles 'Try It, Yule Like It' asked readers to sit down and think of the past, present, and future.
That's what I'm doing now anyways.
I'm regretting not enjoying every possible moment in my life.
Sigh.The stress is kicking in once again, even during this Christmas season.
I just had a friend commenting that I radiate the stress through my expression, my body language.
*Laughs*
I know right, of all the good things a friend can say, this is what he told me.
Guess it's kinda like a slap in the face, waking me up.
It's like ,'Michele, why are you drowning in your own misery?'
The way I see it, I've got a choice.
He was right.I should enjoy life.
Enjoy life as in enjoy the little things that happen each day, enjoy the 'stress' that God inputs into my life.
Sometimes, you just gotta sit down and look around, taking in the surroundings, appreciate the chance to study, to have so many books piled high enough I can't see my way around it.
I'm not being sacarstic here.
I'm being totally serious.
The other day, another friend was telling me, 'Michele, can you please be positive at this moment?'
*laughs*
I know right, total control freak =Michele.

So, today, I decided.
Actually I decided many many many times.
It's just so easy to stray away, you know.
IT's just so easy to be engulfed by the storms of this world, many times I found myself drownin in deep waters, only to resurface and tell myself I will start doing the right things eg:swim.
Only to be distracted by what's happening down in the water.

That's why when people say 'I fail God everyday.But God never fails me'
I totally agree.
Sigh.Since last 3 months, all I've been trying to do is spend QT everyday.
ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS FAILS.


Ok, but I'm doing it again.
This time putting a little more effort.
To enjoy and appreciate whatever God plans for me.
I should just surrender right.Since God has already planned the future for me.
Pah!
Easier said than done.
I should really do it.
Shit.This is difficult.SO MANY TIMES I said I will.
I'm always coming back to square one!
ISSSH.This is so embarrassing punya failure.
It's like you know the solution, yet you just keep getting yourself trapped.
LIKE HOW STUPID IS THAT.


okok.I better stop here.This is going round and round over the same issue.
I probably blogged about this thousand and one times.


One happy moment this week, was outing with Breena.
To midvalley.Can you imagine?
The WHOLE MONTH of Dec I went out only once, to shop.
Okay, fine, plus IOI Mall, two.
BUT I WANNA GO MORE PLACES!
ok.Whatodo.Be contemt with what you have now.

Okay, the pics.

The Date of the Day, dengan Aku.

Blur pic =(

Phewiit, self proclaimed model.Actually I forced her to pose like that one la..

Like an airplane gliding through the clouds.=))

Like a scarecrow je kan?

Does this pic makes me look old?

AND .....*DRUMROLLS*
Behold, this is the best photo EVER!

Doesn't it just look like a perfectly take shot?The Background was so real and awesome too.
Like a magazine cover.I'm being real and serious.=)

Hello January 2013

The title is in anticipation of January 2013.
It's the 15th  Dec today.Meaning, another 15 days to go, before the new year starts.

It's a bit sad, really.
It's like, sigh, the year passed by too quicly.
I dont want it to end!!
Nooooo!!
I need more time, I need time to relax,
I need time to go christmas shopping,
I need time to read novels,
I need time to study, 
I need time to practice my essay,
I need time to hang out with my friends
I need time to spend time with God each day,
I need time to ......

There's just a never ending list.
I really am deprived of all that.
Isn't this a constant thing?
Battling with time.Running against time.
I'm sure all my blog post, say 90% is about me not having enough time.
And it's true.
Aiyah, dont compare others to me and say,
'Time is equal for all, why some can survive, yet you can't?'
I can't really give an answer to that.
Seems like my life is just really busy, with lotsa stuff I cant pinpoint it to just one 'stuff' you know.
I really can't.
What the earth.This is going to get into an emo post again.
Or a complain post.About time being not enough.
Whatever la.Im tired too, of the same old topic.About time.
It's ALWAYS not ENOUGH!
ARGH.



I don't know.What should I do?
I did a timetable, yet today is the 6th day I've been trying to follow it, to no avail.=(
I feel totally useless, and fed up.
It's like 'AHH.Give up!'
I WANNA GIVE UP.JUST DONT CARE!!!!



But I can't, again, I won't.
Hello, My life , my future depended on my decisions now, I better make wise decisions.
Yet, I really am helpless...
What should I do?




On a side note, today's devotion talked about trusting God.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.'

When you lift your eyes from your situation and fix them on your Savior – when you choose to trust Him – you will find peace in the pain and strength in the struggle.

Yes, this could be the solution.
But you know, it's hard too.
How many time have I failed Jesus.
I always go back to being 'in charge' of my life.
I keep neglecting God, and doing other 'important' things first.
Yet, God has reminded me , again and again, through ways like this, to come back to Him.
I strayed from the path, too frequent.
Argh.
This really is a struggle, between trusting that everything is in God's hands, and keeping everything under my own control.


Everytime I respond with a 'Yes, I trust you I surrender to You'
Yet after few days the same old habit comes back again, 
To being worrying and worrying and worrying about every single thing in my life!!
I tell you, it's frustrating.


But thank God, my God is a gracious God.
And I will try again, and again, everytime He reminds me, I will try to follow His will.
So God, please help me to focus on you and not the drowning waters.

Pre A2 Exam

My exam is in May.
But the lecturers are starting to rush.AGAIN.
shit.
I'm so tired of the rushing at the very last minute.
Exam is three months away and we still have not received a business textbook from the college.
The excuse? 'It's not our fault.The publisher havent finish publishing the books.'
HEY YOU THERE!!
LISTEN TO ME.
Please, you are an experienced college administrative team okay.
Whatever team that handles these matters, I'm sure you have been handling these matters for YEARS.

DONT TELL ME NONSENSE.

IF YOU HAD KNOWN THE PUBLISHER IS GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO PUBLISH,
WHY DON'T YOU ORDER EARLIER???
INSTEAD OF DOING IT LAST MINTUE AND BLAMING ON THE PUBLISHER.
AND YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW MANY STUDENTS ARE TAKING THE EXAM.
AND YOU KNOW THE EXAM DATE.
SO WHY CANT YOU UTILISE THIS TO UR BENEFIT?????????????????????????
*bangs fist on table*

*sigh*
not again.
Sometimes I get so tired of these SMART-HEAD(i meant the opposites) fella.
BECAUSE I CANT STAND YOUR IGNORANCE ANYMORE.
PS: I am not the only one complaining.EVERY STUDENT WHO HAS BRAINS AND WANTS TO DO THIER BEST would be at my side of the argument.


shitty coll.

Mixed Emotions

Today, I just needed to blog. for the very reason a blog is created for, in the initial stages.
Before blogs became an advertisement-like spot in the internet.Or a fashion reference.Whatever.

I am quite pissed today.So beware of extremely strong negative vibes I'm sending thru this post.==
Consider yourself warned.


I went and get my results yesterday.
And I am grateful enough to know that eventhough my results aren't the best,
(I know I did my best, with the time constraint and all,I BLAME BAC)
and God did the rest.
Like sending the best possible person to mark my results and give enough sympathy marks to help me get the grades that I have now.
Ok, maybe what I wrote was really good.But I highly doubt so.
And I know that even if I wrote really well, without God's grace, I would still have failed.
And failed terribly.So many testimonies around me.
Like a superhardworking girlfriend of mine failing all three?We were all shocked.
This is A LEVELS mind you.Not any Sijils'.(not referring specificly to any)
And so I know, considering I'm a June intake and I had only a total of THREE months TWENTY days from the first day of class till the day of the exam, that I would have very easily gotten ALL fail(S).
Thank God for His presence in my life.
You don't know how much all the June intakes have suffered.*eye slits*
Which I will further eleborate in the next paragraph.
Anyway, back to topic, I am glad.For my current results.
I did NOT fail any.Thank God.
But the very fact that I hate is that, people in my college are just so insensitive.
Like really INSENSITIVE.
I came out of the college and met a guy, whom subjects are of same grade as mine, except for one.
And for that one subject, is below mine by one grade.you get it?
It's like for two subjects our grades are the same, but the other one subject, economics, I got a better grade.
That's all.
AND THIS GUY HAD TO COMPARE HIS MARKS AND MY MARKS FOR EVERY SUBJECT,
AND LATER TELLING ME THAT HE FEELS MUCH MORE CONFIDENT, SINCE HIS TWO SUBJECTS EVENTHOUGH OF THE SAME GRADE IS STIL A FEW MARKS HIGHER THAN ME.
$#$*&%&$%*!!!
My straightaway reaction was:  I wanna kick you now.
I didn't even tell him that : I FEEL PROUD BECAUSE I'VE BEATEN YOU OVERALL.
Eventhough he is a nerd x100 who sits at home and studies everyday.Truth.
ok, I'm not saying that being nerd is bad, it's just that in this case, it precisely describes him.
Yeah, I could have said that, just to feel it in his face.But I did not.I was very good.
I just don't understand.Why people like that existed.
Even some, or most, who meet me, after one whole week of hols and thier first sentence is 'How was your result?'
Like seriously, are you more interested in my results or me?
And some, like so pandang rendah, coz they think 'MICHELE is SO SMART SHE DOESN'T NEED TO STUDY ALSO CAN GET A'.
and my results aren't straight A's.
STUPID PEOPLE.
sometimes they forgot that I am also human, if they did worse than me, I would have done as worst too.
Just that right now, it's wee bit better, because of God's grace.
They don't know that I depend on God, a lot.And they always forget that I am HUMAN too.
in 3 months, if you can't finish the syallabus, no matter how you studied, I can't too.
OKAY??
And I shall say it again, God's grace.
His grace is sufficient for me.




Next story,
I have this one lecturer, whose sacarsm kills.
Remember we june intakes have only 3 months 20days to finish the whole syllabus of AS?
Few weeks before the law exam and he had to ask if we read his subject.
I said no, I will read when I have enough time.
And he went: 'Why? Are you married?So busy taking care of your kids?'
or ' I know so many people who have done great in short period of time bla bla ba....'
And the whole day he was just tembaking me.
I escaped to the toilet every time he starts.
Because he is worse than a woman.Becuase he can actually keep repeating the same sentence, over and over again.
And takes a long time to stop.
And jokes about big size people, when he himself isn't any smaller in size.

then I had another lecturer, who comes in the class and doesn't teach.
She can just talk for whole hour pointlessly, without giving answers to the questions we are doing.
One time I asked, I can't find the answer.
She said:' you have to find it by yourself in the textbook.'
I'm like = =, = =,and more eye slits.
I can just sit there waiting for her to finish crapping and give answers or explanation related to the answers and I will just wait in vain.
From a class of 50, today only 10 came.or maybe more, by a bit.

And I hate it when they lie and say 'oh, we gave many trial tests to the students.'
And the truth is that the only trial test we had is for business.
None for other subjects.Because there wasn't enough time.
And I hate it, everytime I see it in the ads, on the computer labs and all kinda sports held,
but in actual, the comp lab was never open, and sports was never seen in my college.
All boo-hoo stuff.
Now, I very well know my posting this is dangerous especially when anyone can throw defamation letters at bloggers and haul you to court.
But right now, I needed a space to rant.
So much anger and frustrations.


Last point, I really disliked it when they rushed towards the end of classes and finish a few pages in just a few minutes,
when they actually took much more time explaining the earlier pages.
A previous lecturer of mine who took one day one chapter actually went four chapters a day, just to rush the syallabus and 'finish' everything in time for the exam.
Now, the fact is that I don't mind them rushing with enough explanations.
But they were rushing just for the sake of finishing, we were all left with no inputs by the end of the day.
What's the point of rushing?When we never did understand a thing?It's like we never learn anything before and after.So what's the use??


*sigh*

Verses and encouragement for exams

Found this very inspirational.taken from here

BEFORE EXAMS…

** I am so worried about this subject!!!

Philippians 4:6-7
⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

** my mind cant concentrate at all!!!

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.

** I can’t even sleep peacefully/properly!!!

Psalm 3:5
⁵ I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.

** I am physically and mentally fatigued

Isaiah 40:31
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

** there is no hope for I am too far behind to catch up!!!

Psalm 43:5
⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

**will everything go wrong???

Isaiah 46:4
⁴ Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

DURING EXAMS…

** I don’t understand this question!!!

Proverbs 3:5-6
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. ^[1]

** I am too nervous to think properly!!!

John 14:27
²⁷Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

** this questions needs much wisdom and I don’t have it!!!!

James 1:5
⁵If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 

Warning!!Complaints ahoy!

Read the titile.

Yes, Michele Lau complains a lot.

Satisfied?

So there,bug off if you're thinking anything rash.

Didn't force you to listen to my ramblings.

*bad mood*

I got so much to complain.

First, I got a terrigible headache.

From lack of sleep, or stress, or (trying to)concentrate too much in class.

Dunno which, all factors are valid.

When I say concentrate, it is the effort of trying to do it.

In a 4 hour long class.=.= Sitting there and listening ONLY.

I mean we have breaks , 15mins or so.

But seriously which HUMAN can tahan for so long.

After the first hour, I coudn't absorb anything liao.

Whatever the lecturer teach I only got like 1% of it.

Like I know he talked about exchanged rates, and currency.

And whaa??I dunno.

But yeah, something bout malaysia's money and aussie then US.

But I dunno what effect it has if some country's currency increase or decrease.

Oh ya, something about floatation.

I dunnooo.

Like seriously, evrything's so rushing.

He even draggged the lectures for another half hour.

C'mon, the class is already unbearable.

And by 6pm everyone was already READY to go back home.

But he CONTINUES talking talking we couldnt even SIT STILL LIAO.

Some of my friends slept in the class unconsciously and then only to wake up and realise we're in CLASS.

Look.He's  a good lecturer.

But the rush to finish all topics in such a SHORT period of time is so, gosh, KILLING.

And my sundays are booked, full, not by DATES, but the college.

Like, seriously, how boring can life be!

And my law lesson for tomorrow is the last.

Guess what, we have 4 hours,minus break,  for FOUR CHAPTERS.(If I counted correctly)

4 chaps still not covered.And the normal pace is one session, one chapter.

I can't even imagine how the class will be like.=='

Not only that,  startiing next week, we have revision class.

Gosh, how could we cope with it.Syllabus not covered, I feel so lost.

Don't ask me why I choosed June intake.

Fact is, I didnt know we have exams in 3 months time.==

THREE months to cover past year quest, finish syllabus, and revise.

Lecturer finished Business, yeah, those who took alevels, that thick book.

In 2 months time.

I don't understand even half of it.

Everything is just so RUSHED.

ARGGHHHHH.

my timetable for this month is jampacked full.

Don't even know if I can find time to read and understand by myself.

I studied one chapter of business yesterday.

One chapter, less than ten page.took me 3 hours.==

How to finsh whole book, what more 3 subjects, plus to memorise the facts.

*sigh*

Seriously, I know I shouldn't complain.

Should just trust in the Lord all those stuff.

Forgive me.

But right now, it's so stressed.tension.

Plus I'm human.And I'm Michele Lau.

*sigh*

Great, I'm off to study(hopefully).

Wish me luck.And keep me in your prayers.

Colours!

The message I'm trying to covey thru the photo is that, I love my nails!!!

Haha! Ignore the weird pose.

It was coloured by my college friends.Nice eh!!=D

Other than that, class were normal.

Essays and essays.

And extra classes.

And exam is near!!like in Oct/Nov 2011.
*sigh*

Gyming and things

So Friday, which is yesterday, I went gym-ing again, with my faithful gym companion,
Ta-Daaaaaaaa!!!!

*was taken with my hp, therefore the 'cha' quality.and I edited on the film effects.

And there you got it, my hairstyle to college almost everyday now.
Cause you know, my college is in the city hub.
And air pollution is the worst there, and I have started to get concious of my SK2 skin.
Lol.
But yeah true, that's why I clipped my hair up, so that it won't encourage more pimples on my forehead.
Plus I've been sleeping late everyday. without afternoon naps.
At least in high school I have time to nap and rest in the middle of the day.
*sigh*
Back to topic, 'She' is my college mate.haha...
and talking about pimples, she has totally no pimples at all loh..
I'm jealous.@-@.
And gosh, she's so serious about exercising, she actually used the 'running-machine' for 20mins.
I, on the other hand, 3 mins only, then beh tahan already.*laughs*
I kinda did that on every gym equipment.lol.
But I was q-u-i-t-e serious on using the er..I dunno what is it called.
The you know, stretch-biceps/triceps-machine.
And yeah, this morning,I got up with ultra painful arms.*die*
Price you have to pay for a great BOD.haha...


Oh oh oh, I shall talk about pasar malam.
oh gosh, how many months since I actually browse the little stalls there.
I was hoping to meet my schoolmates there you know, but none came.=((
I didn't meet anyone I know, AT ALL.*sad*
I discoevered a few things tho,
I don't buy any fried food anymore.
In my combat with pimples, I decided to try reducing these delicious yet 'pimple' food for some time.*hope I manage to do it till my sk2 skin comes back, fighting!*
And I am not interested in jewelleries anymore.
In pasar malam, there are actually a lot of China sellers, selling china-jewelleries .
Some looked really dazzling and pretty.
Amazingly, I walked past without a second glance.
Well the first glance was to see what it is, of course.
So no second glance.haha..
Seriously, I have stopped buying them.
All those necklaces and braclets and girly things that I once liked----history.
Awwwwwwww.......I shall spend money on facial stuffs now.LOL
Don't worry.No make-ups, YET.
-------------skip------------

In my class, earrings are actually the 'trend' now.
So the other day, I was thinking, since I got so many of those, let me flaunt mine.*rubs hands gleefully*
So I wore my white hairband with matching white earrings.
Just before I stepped out of the door,
My ever so responsible mother, as always,
'Michele!!!!!!you going fashion show or what, har???'
Oooooooops, what-to-do.
Caught red-handed, retreated my steps back.
So I went to college, the plain-ol-michele, TO STUDY.lol.
Aiyah Michele is going to college to study, no boyfriend yet, so no need to accessorise myself.*comforts self*
-------------------skip------------------


Eh you people ahh, read my blog and never leave a trace behind.
Leave a comment lahh....
Encourage me a bit.lol
You know why I have been able to keep my blog up till now??
Because of Breena, who always always let me know that someone is still reading my blog, and following up with it.
I thought no one ever reads it , till I met people and they tell me,
Michele, I read your blog.
Aiyoh, rupa2 masih ada orang baca blog aku.
tapi, comment lah sikit.=)

My SK2 Face

People ask, How are you, Michele??
And I answer, Good, with a lil bit of college stress.
What Happened?
Pimples happened, on my smooth and perfect SK2 face.=(((
Seriously, since last week, 2 huge pimples showed up at my face.
Or rather, cheek.
*Cries*
My first ever.Usually they just do their job at the T-zone.Never my face!!
Now it's there and not dissapearing yet.
How how how??
I blame it on college.Listen carefully,it's...
Brickfields Asia College!!!
Dont ever go there if you wana have SK2 face.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
What do I do now??
My beautiful face.I've gone to the extent of placing tomatoes and cucumbers on it.
It just doesn't even budge an inch.
Stress=(

Michele's Tots

Before I start, something for you to laugh about.If you follow these instuctions:

‎1. Go to google
2. Search for "top 50 women on the internet"
3. Select the 1st link
4. Look at Number 7
5. Laugh hard!!!

So I had a lotta thoughts lately.

Namely about my choice of future.

You know, when I applied for all the government scholarships last 2 month?

And I was hoping and hoping but didnt get???

And I was so frustrated then.

It's like I could just lash out and scold God if God was there, as in human form.

Then I reapplied, but till now, no news yet.

So I guess I'll be in Brickfields forever.

I mean till I graduate.

But I found out something else,

that what I want may not be what God has in mind.

And I think, I believe that BAC is THE place for me.

lol. I don't know how to explain.

I don't enjoy dao like really heaven style.

But it wasn't realy that stressful.

Eventho I had to take public transport to n fro, 

eventho the place is famous for it's 'acid-attacks ',

but up till now I've been quite safe.

And I had enough time to get closer to God,

time to study and play, 

to online n watch Korean dramas,

to exercise n swim.

Yeah, I realized all that as of today.

And I found answers while reading Luke today.

My moral teacher was asking, since Jesus was born in New testament, does that mean He isn't present in Old testament?How could a God be born just like that?

And she resorted to saying, In Islam, bla blabla..

And I asked around but only found satisfying answers today.

In Luke 20:42,(David's psalm)

The LORD(God)said to my Lord(Jesus).

Jesus was there when David was alive, which means Jesus was there all the while.

Sorry nonbelievers, guess you wouldn't understand what I mean.

But it's just something I acknowledge.

And it's kinda for Breena too.Hehe..

It's not correcting you, Breena, it's sharing. LOL

I got a better understanding of the concept of afterlife too.

Which is part of my moral project also.

In Luke 20: 34-38.

Heaven would be so different from earth.

a)Marriage does not occur there.

b)We will not die anymore.

c)we will be similar to angels and are sons of God.

I feel so great.Getting all the answers needed.

Cheers!!!=)

Stories

Omygosh!
I have like so many things to update about.
And it's been so loooooooooooooong since I last online!!!!!!
First things first,
I enrolled myself in Brickfields Asia College.
And met Angeline while having my trial class.WOOOOTS!!!
And haha!!
There was this really pretty n a handsome lecturer.
Influenced by Angeline to scout around for "pretty"people in college.*winks*
Business studies was bOrING!!
Econs was okay.
But I didn't really liked the teacher.=((
Coz he kinda like feels happy in see-ing people suffer kinda thing.
So whatever.
It's sem break now.
And I'm in Johor!!!!!
Everything was great n fun and nice till yesterday.BOOHOO
Wana know what happened??
I joined a contest as a Simple skincare Facebook Ambassador last month.
Guess what??i got chosen as the TOP TENN!!!!!!
And I could go to a high tea and get my RM500 worth of prize.
But,
I couldn't go!!!!!!!!!!
WHY??
Cause I'm in Johor!
What do you think????SAD DAO DIE!!!
Really heartache lahh!!!
RM 500 man!!can use for one whole year!!
*sigh*
Whatever, I'll join more n win more next time.*hmmph**fold arms*
But I did my thing here also.
My cousin did make-up for me!!!!
LOL.wait...show you the photos next time!!
till then, cya~~~~~