Jokes

This is one that I find really funny.

Signs Found In The Kitchen So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! I clean house every other day. Today is the other day. If you write in the dust, please don't date it! I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener! My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it! I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards. Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand! Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines. I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump. *Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!* cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Just 4 luffs

Living Standards of the 21st Century!   Our communication - Wireless Our phones - Cordless Our cooking - Fireless Our food - Fatless Our Sweets - Sugarless Our labor - Effortless Our relations - Fruitless Our attitude - Careless Our feelings - Heartless Our politics - Shameless Our education - Worthless Our Mistakes - Countless Our arguments - Baseless Our  youth - Jobless Our Ladies - Topless Our Boss - Brainless Our Jobs - Thankless Our Needs - Endless Our situation - Hopeless Our Income - Less & less

Jokes

Oh..here are some jokes I found on the internet to share with you guys.

You know, it's one good way to de-stress yourself.

Especially for SPM students like me.

Joke#1

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. 

Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

#2

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?

Johnny: Nothing, sir. 

Headmaster: Exactly.

#3

A: I have the perfect son. 

B: Does he smoke? 

A: No, he doesn't. 

B: Does he drink whiskey? 

A: No, he doesn't. 

B: Does he ever come home late? 

A: No, he doesn't. 

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? 

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

#4

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?" 
TEACHER:" Of course not." 
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven’t done my homework."