Mixed Emotions

Today, I just needed to blog. for the very reason a blog is created for, in the initial stages.
Before blogs became an advertisement-like spot in the internet.Or a fashion reference.Whatever.

I am quite pissed today.So beware of extremely strong negative vibes I'm sending thru this post.==
Consider yourself warned.


I went and get my results yesterday.
And I am grateful enough to know that eventhough my results aren't the best,
(I know I did my best, with the time constraint and all,I BLAME BAC)
and God did the rest.
Like sending the best possible person to mark my results and give enough sympathy marks to help me get the grades that I have now.
Ok, maybe what I wrote was really good.But I highly doubt so.
And I know that even if I wrote really well, without God's grace, I would still have failed.
And failed terribly.So many testimonies around me.
Like a superhardworking girlfriend of mine failing all three?We were all shocked.
This is A LEVELS mind you.Not any Sijils'.(not referring specificly to any)
And so I know, considering I'm a June intake and I had only a total of THREE months TWENTY days from the first day of class till the day of the exam, that I would have very easily gotten ALL fail(S).
Thank God for His presence in my life.
You don't know how much all the June intakes have suffered.*eye slits*
Which I will further eleborate in the next paragraph.
Anyway, back to topic, I am glad.For my current results.
I did NOT fail any.Thank God.
But the very fact that I hate is that, people in my college are just so insensitive.
Like really INSENSITIVE.
I came out of the college and met a guy, whom subjects are of same grade as mine, except for one.
And for that one subject, is below mine by one grade.you get it?
It's like for two subjects our grades are the same, but the other one subject, economics, I got a better grade.
That's all.
AND THIS GUY HAD TO COMPARE HIS MARKS AND MY MARKS FOR EVERY SUBJECT,
AND LATER TELLING ME THAT HE FEELS MUCH MORE CONFIDENT, SINCE HIS TWO SUBJECTS EVENTHOUGH OF THE SAME GRADE IS STIL A FEW MARKS HIGHER THAN ME.
$#$*&%&$%*!!!
My straightaway reaction was:  I wanna kick you now.
I didn't even tell him that : I FEEL PROUD BECAUSE I'VE BEATEN YOU OVERALL.
Eventhough he is a nerd x100 who sits at home and studies everyday.Truth.
ok, I'm not saying that being nerd is bad, it's just that in this case, it precisely describes him.
Yeah, I could have said that, just to feel it in his face.But I did not.I was very good.
I just don't understand.Why people like that existed.
Even some, or most, who meet me, after one whole week of hols and thier first sentence is 'How was your result?'
Like seriously, are you more interested in my results or me?
And some, like so pandang rendah, coz they think 'MICHELE is SO SMART SHE DOESN'T NEED TO STUDY ALSO CAN GET A'.
and my results aren't straight A's.
STUPID PEOPLE.
sometimes they forgot that I am also human, if they did worse than me, I would have done as worst too.
Just that right now, it's wee bit better, because of God's grace.
They don't know that I depend on God, a lot.And they always forget that I am HUMAN too.
in 3 months, if you can't finish the syallabus, no matter how you studied, I can't too.
OKAY??
And I shall say it again, God's grace.
His grace is sufficient for me.




Next story,
I have this one lecturer, whose sacarsm kills.
Remember we june intakes have only 3 months 20days to finish the whole syllabus of AS?
Few weeks before the law exam and he had to ask if we read his subject.
I said no, I will read when I have enough time.
And he went: 'Why? Are you married?So busy taking care of your kids?'
or ' I know so many people who have done great in short period of time bla bla ba....'
And the whole day he was just tembaking me.
I escaped to the toilet every time he starts.
Because he is worse than a woman.Becuase he can actually keep repeating the same sentence, over and over again.
And takes a long time to stop.
And jokes about big size people, when he himself isn't any smaller in size.

then I had another lecturer, who comes in the class and doesn't teach.
She can just talk for whole hour pointlessly, without giving answers to the questions we are doing.
One time I asked, I can't find the answer.
She said:' you have to find it by yourself in the textbook.'
I'm like = =, = =,and more eye slits.
I can just sit there waiting for her to finish crapping and give answers or explanation related to the answers and I will just wait in vain.
From a class of 50, today only 10 came.or maybe more, by a bit.

And I hate it when they lie and say 'oh, we gave many trial tests to the students.'
And the truth is that the only trial test we had is for business.
None for other subjects.Because there wasn't enough time.
And I hate it, everytime I see it in the ads, on the computer labs and all kinda sports held,
but in actual, the comp lab was never open, and sports was never seen in my college.
All boo-hoo stuff.
Now, I very well know my posting this is dangerous especially when anyone can throw defamation letters at bloggers and haul you to court.
But right now, I needed a space to rant.
So much anger and frustrations.


Last point, I really disliked it when they rushed towards the end of classes and finish a few pages in just a few minutes,
when they actually took much more time explaining the earlier pages.
A previous lecturer of mine who took one day one chapter actually went four chapters a day, just to rush the syallabus and 'finish' everything in time for the exam.
Now, the fact is that I don't mind them rushing with enough explanations.
But they were rushing just for the sake of finishing, we were all left with no inputs by the end of the day.
What's the point of rushing?When we never did understand a thing?It's like we never learn anything before and after.So what's the use??


*sigh*